Ten Ways You Can Change the World

October 28, 2017Leave a comment

I am just crazy enough to think I can change the world, but not so crazy that I think I can do it alone. That’s where you come in!

10 ways you can change the world:

Follow this blog
Follow me on Twitter
Follow me on Instagram
Comment, Like, and Share
Join my Relay For Life team
Donate to Relay For Life on my page
Learn the symptoms of ovarian cancer
Talk to someone about ovarian cancer today
Check your box (and/or remind a friend to check theirs)
Help me get onto Ellen’s show

I’m not holding you to that last one I just needed a 10th way, but if you know someone…

Thank you for your time!

Don’t worry, I got this

❤ P

Here’s What People Are Saying About Courage

October 27, 2017October 27, 2017Leave a comment

I hear it all the time now since I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year… “You are so brave. I wouldn’t have the courage to face cancer the way you have.” I never know how to respond to that because I don’t feel particularly brave or courageous.

All I can say is I think you’d be surprised what you are capable of. I always thought I would fall to the ground sobbing upon learning I had cancer, but that wasn’t the case. I think my doctor expected a different reaction from me too since she paused a moment before asking me if I understood that she had just told me I had cancer. Sure, I did. I’d been preparing myself for that diagnosis for weeks. I think I would have been more shocked to hear I *didn’t* have cancer. Once she confirmed what I had suspected, my only thought was “okay, what do we do now?” Every day since then has been a variation on that same thing. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Today’s Rose | I had a nice visit with some of my Starbucks peeps today. While there it occurred to me they are yet another branch of my support network and I realized just how much I’ve been missing them.

Today’s Thorn | Fergus isn’t having the best day today. I’ve lost track of how many times he has stood in his food bowl and then water bowl before kicking water all over the living room. He wants to go out, but when we get there he doesn’t do anything. Here we go again…hopefully the last time tonight.

Don’t worry, I got this

<3P

World Domination, Step 1 | Increase Awareness

October 25, 2017Leave a comment

While talking with one of my doctors today, I mentioned that I might reduce posts to only once a week because it doesn’t look like my posts are being read by many folks. Then I rattled off the concerns I have: are my posts too long? are they poorly written? am I posting to frequently? After all, I’ve had people complain about my Facebook posts in the past, saying they muted me because I flooded their feed. Is that what’s happening here? Should I focus on one topic a week and do it up right? I mean, if my friends don’t even want to read my blog, why would a complete stranger? How will I ever effect any change if I’m just shouting into the void?

After a beat, he asked me if writing these posts was helping me?

Certainly, getting these thoughts out of my head onto the page has been a huge help.

Does writing as often as you do work for you?

At least for right now it does, there’s a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head.

I certainly don’t intend to discount the need for increased research, but isn’t the biggest issue a lack of awareness? There are people out there that don’t even know ovarian cancer is a thing and early detection is key…

Yes, and I’ve heard of friends who were aware having to beg their doctor to investigate their symptoms because they can so easily be written off as symptoms of aging.

Right. In my opinion, if your posts save just one woman that would be huge.

So, I’m going to keep going. I’m still looking for my voice and trying to figure out what works for me, but if you hang in there with me I promise I’ll get the hang of this eventually. And maybe, just maybe, these posts will help someone else besides just me.

If, like my sister, you think this blog might help someone who loves a survivor understand what they are going through and you know someone who might benefit, would you please consider sharing with them? I’d be ever so grateful!

Don’t worry, I’ve got this!

❤ P

Save the HooHahs!

October 24, 2017October 25, 2017Leave a comment

It began when I was still receiving treatment and my doctor had just switched me to another chemotherapy drug (typically used for breast cancer patients, but also shown to have success with ovarian cancer patients) to hopefully stop the advancement of the peripheral neuropathy I was experiencing on the original (also primarily indicated for breast cancer). I was laying on the couch recovering from the first dose when a commercial came on the television asking if you or a loved one had breast cancer and had received the drug Taxotere… Wait a minute, I thought to myself, I don’t have breast cancer, BUT I am taking Taxotere. What do *I* do if my hair never grows back? Don’t I count?

Then there’s the ever present and ridiculously well funded Race for the Cure and the Avon 39 fundraising walks. I don’t know if it is because October’s Breast Cancer Awareness month falls on the heels of September’s Ovarian Cancer Awareness month so I can see the stark difference between the two or if there is just so much damn pink being thrown at me this month, but I can’t continue to let this go anymore.

First let me say I love The Ellen Show; I watch it routinely and it is programmed into my DVR in case I can’t catch it live. I love Ellen and everything she does to increase kindness in the world. She made me laugh when I thought at times when I thought I might never laugh again. It just happens that while watching today, the show provided references to some of the things I am really beginning to dislike about the month of October.

Today on Ellen, Shutterfly gave $25,000 to a survivor and her family so they could go on a vacation and Michael Strahan danced so Ulta Beauty donated $20,000 to research. It’s been like this all month, every October for the last 4 years. To be fair, I searched for ‘ovarian cancer‘ on her site to make sure I hadn’t missed something similar last month for Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. Unfortunately there were only results for breast cancer. It isn’t just on Ellen either, yesterday’s audience on Let’s Make a Deal was full of breast cancer survivors and their caregivers. Everyone went home with Dune Jewelry custom Breast Cancer Awareness jewelry. On October 2, The Price is Right had a breast cancer themed episode too. No doubt there are more, but you get the idea.

Ford Motor Company has their Warriors in Pink which has donated $133 million since 1993. Pampered Chef has their Help Whip Cancer products that have contributed $12 million to to aid the American Cancer Society^®’s fight against breast cancer. The Esteé Lauder Companies have Pink Ribbon Products through their Breast Cancer Campaign. The Breast Cancer Campaign has raised more than $70 million to support global research, education and medical services, with more than $56 million funding 225 Breast Cancer Research Foundation® (BCRF) medical research grants worldwide. The list goes on and seems to get longer with every passing year.

How many commercials have you seen about #ovariancancer? How many television shows have you seen raising awareness OR donating thousands of dollars to ovarian cancer research AND thousands in prizes to #ovariancancersurvivors? How many major companies have teal themed products for sale to help fund ovarian cancer research?

My guess is none.

I’m blessed with a 92% chance of living 5+ years after treatment because mine was caught ridiculously early at Stage 1 when my ADHD doctor became concerned about my blood pressure (same stage breast cancer? 98.5%), but ovarian cancer is known as the silent killer and the majority of women aren’t diagnosed until Stage 3. Their chance of survivng 5+ years drops to 39%… Stage 4? 17%(same stage breast cancer? 25%).

This needs to change.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my Pink Sisters and I am grateful for the advancements in treatment that have also been found to be beneficial to ovarian cancer patients, but it’s past time the big movers and shakers with the deep pockets realize that not all women’s cancers are pink. #notallcancerispink

There is not a screening test or vaccine available for ovarian cancer so the best hope we have right now is early detection. The only way to achieve that is to increase awareness and many of my ovarian cancer survivor sisters are too busy fighting to live to push for a change so you’re stuck with me. I’m a loud mouth and can only hope I am up for the task. I’d better be because I really can’t handle constantly hearing “oh yeah, my mom died of ovarian cancer” whenever someone hears my diagnosis.

Don’t worry, I’ve got this

❤ P

Breast Cancer Commercial 2017 Search Results

Life With Cancer | It’s Probably Nothing, But…

October 16, 2017October 17, 20172 Comments

There’s an ever so slight chance it’s something.

After my 10% chance it’s something became 100% it’s ovarian cancer, I haven’t had much trust in the simple reassurances you often hear when facing an unknown. One of the questions that comes along with surviving cancer is, “will my cancer come back?” Most of the time, that question hides way in the deep of my subconsciousness and only surfaces right before one of my quarterly follow-up visits.

Until this weekend, that is.

Based on my symptoms I most likely have a simple UTI or, at worst, a kidney stone. However, because I’m an ovarian cancer survivor there’s the third option of a recurrence in the form of bladder cancer. I haven’t really had a UTI since my mom figured out when I was 5 or so that Mr Bubble and I didn’t really get along too well. There was a suspected instance during my chemo treatments, but because I was neutropenic and popped a fever, it was addressed almost immediately in the ER with some heavy duty broad spectrum IV antibiotics.

That isn’t the case this time. This time there is no fever and no quick turnaround in the ER, instead there is blood and roughly 3 days of calls to figure out what needs to be done. As long as I can continue to weather the crazy urgency to pee countless times throughout the day and night, I have an appointment to be seen by my gyn-oncologist Thursday afternoon. If I break before then, I’m to call back so they can get me seen by one of the Fellows. I don’t see me breaking anytime soon as I’m still agitated that Fellow blew me off on Saturday night and I won’t feel at peace until I hear from Dr. Gehrig.

Pretty much everyone has assured me that it’s probably nothing and for the most part I agree with them, but I still can’t help but worry that maybe, just maybe, it IS something. Only 9 months post-chemo and I’m being introduced to the thoughts I will have every time something is not quite right in my body… “is this it? has my cancer come back?”

Haiku | On Survivor Status

October 12, 2017October 12, 2017Leave a comment

Today was pretty frustrating and I have so much I need to get out of my head and into words, but I don’t even know where to start. The basic gist of it all is how I’m really aggravated because I now know why I have been feeling the way I have and I know what I *could* be doing to remedy the situation, BUT support is not readily available to me because I don’t have the well known and incredibly supported cancer. I feel like I’m not one of the cool kids because my cancer isn’t pink.

Seriously.

Doctor overseeing survivorship, that I was referred to by my doctor, actually said to me that she usually ONLY sees breast cancer patients but was willing to make an exception in my case. WTAF? Her team even put off setting up an appointment for me because they want to confer both doctors since I don’t have breast cancer. Even then, there isn’t an opening until December and the workshops are all full. I looked into support groups too only to learn that once again there was nothing for ovarian cancer but multiple groups for breast cancer.

I suppose you could argue how a breast cancer survivor has scars, lost her feeling of sexuality and femininity, and is grieving those losses. Oh wait, I do too! I get it, really I do. Breasts are a visible sign of femininity and who doesn’t love breasts, while ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, and cervix are all tucked neatly away, for good reason as they are NOT attractive. Those ugly reproductive organs are also responsible for the much loathed PMS.

Forget it. I. Can’t. Even. Right now. All through treatment I’ve been flummoxed by how one cancer could have so much more support than another, but at least then I was benefiting from the advances made in breast cancer research…we share common drugs. Now, on the other hand, I won’t benefit unless folks decide to make an exception and allow me into a sisterhood cloaked in girly, ultra feminine pink.

Teal always looked better on me anyway.

/rant

I will try again tomorrow.

#TeamPamda

#FightLikeAGirl #IGotThis #WithALottaHelpFromMyFriends #TealRibbon

Tag: breast cancer