Haiku | On Survivor Status

Today was pretty frustrating and I have so much I need to get out of my head and into words, but I don’t even know where to start. The basic gist of it all is how I’m really aggravated because I now know why I have been feeling the way I have and I know what I *could* be doing to remedy the situation, BUT support is not readily available to me because I don’t have the well known and incredibly supported cancer. I feel like I’m not one of the cool kids because my cancer isn’t pink.


Doctor overseeing survivorship, that I was referred to by my doctor, actually said to me that she usually ONLY sees breast cancer patients but was willing to make an exception in my case. WTAF? Her team even put off setting up an appointment for me because they want to confer both doctors since I don’t have breast cancer. Even then, there isn’t an opening until December and the workshops are all full. I looked into support groups too only to learn that once again there was nothing for ovarian cancer but multiple groups for breast cancer.

I suppose you could argue how a breast cancer survivor has scars, lost her feeling of sexuality and femininity, and is grieving those losses. Oh wait, I do too! I get it, really I do. Breasts are a visible sign of femininity and who doesn’t love breasts, while ovaries, fallopian tubes, uterus, and cervix are all tucked neatly away, for good reason as they are NOT attractive. Those ugly reproductive organs are also responsible for the much loathed PMS. courage doesn_t always roar. (2)

Forget it. I. Can’t. Even. Right now. All through treatment I’ve been flummoxed by how one cancer could have so much more support than another, but at least then I was benefiting from the advances made in breast cancer research…we share common drugs. Now, on the other hand, I won’t benefit unless folks decide to make an exception and allow me into a sisterhood cloaked in girly, ultra feminine pink.

Teal always looked better on me anyway.


I will try again tomorrow.

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