Thing 1, Thing 2, and the Audacity of My Lymphatic System

Thing 1, Thing 2, and the Audacity of My Lymphatic System

Well. This is not the plot twist I ordered.

Somewhere along the way, my body decided to audition for a reboot of The Cat in the Hat and introduced me to two uninvited guests: Thing 1 and Thing 2. These are not quirky houseguests who clean up after themselves. No, no. These are two slightly overachieving, metabolically enthusiastic lymph nodes who showed up on a PET scan like, “Hi. We glow now.”

Let’s set the scene.

I go in for a routine scan—just a casual “let’s see what’s going on in there” moment—and BOOM. Radiology is like:

“We have… activity.”

Activity?? Ma’am, I did not sign up for extracurriculars.

So now we have:

  • Thing 1: Hanging out in the chest like it owns the place
  • Thing 2: Down in the pelvic region, minding none of its business

Both small. Both stable. Both apparently committed to being just suspicious enough to be annoying, but not dramatic enough to make a clear decision. Honestly? The audacity.

The Plot Thickens (But Only Slightly)

We did a biopsy. Or at least… we tried to.

Result:

“No lymph node tissue seen.”

Translation: We knocked on the door, and Thing 2 said, “New phone, who dis?”

So that was helpful.

Meanwhile, my CA-125 decided to briefly spike like it was trying out for a stress response Olympics, then casually drift back down like, “Just kidding, I’m chill.”

Which leaves my medical team in the most relatable place possible:

🤔 “Hmmm.”

Current Status: Schrödinger’s Nodes

At this point, Thing 1 and Thing 2 exist in a quantum state of:

  • Maybe inflammation
  • Maybe recurrence
  • Definitely annoying

They haven’t grown.
They haven’t spread.
They haven’t packed their bags and left (rude).

So now we wait. Again.

Next PET scan: July 22
Because apparently my life is now a limited series called “Let’s Check Again in Three Months.”

The Silver Lining (Yes, There Is One)

If these are troublemakers, they are:

  • small
  • contained
  • slow-moving
  • and not inviting friends over

Which, in the world of unwanted biological plot twists, is basically the best-case scenario.

So if I had to pick a type of recurrence (which, to be clear, I would prefer “none”), this would be the one where the nodes are like:

“We’re here… but we’re not trying too hard.”

Relatable, honestly.

Final Thoughts from a Reluctant Host

I don’t know yet if Thing 1 and Thing 2 are:

  • temporary squatters
  • or long-term freeloaders

But I do know this:

I’m being watched closely.
Nothing is spiraling.
And for now, the situation is stable.

So I’m choosing—not blind optimism—but a kind of practical peace with:

“We’ll deal with it when we actually know what it is.”

In the meantime, if anyone has tips on evicting tiny, overdramatic lymph nodes, I’m all ears.

Stay tuned. I got this.

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