Here’s What People Are Saying About Courage

October 27, 2017October 27, 2017Leave a comment

I hear it all the time now since I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer last year… “You are so brave. I wouldn’t have the courage to face cancer the way you have.” I never know how to respond to that because I don’t feel particularly brave or courageous.

All I can say is I think you’d be surprised what you are capable of. I always thought I would fall to the ground sobbing upon learning I had cancer, but that wasn’t the case. I think my doctor expected a different reaction from me too since she paused a moment before asking me if I understood that she had just told me I had cancer. Sure, I did. I’d been preparing myself for that diagnosis for weeks. I think I would have been more shocked to hear I *didn’t* have cancer. Once she confirmed what I had suspected, my only thought was “okay, what do we do now?” Every day since then has been a variation on that same thing. Lather. Rinse. Repeat.

Today’s Rose | I had a nice visit with some of my Starbucks peeps today. While there it occurred to me they are yet another branch of my support network and I realized just how much I’ve been missing them.

Today’s Thorn | Fergus isn’t having the best day today. I’ve lost track of how many times he has stood in his food bowl and then water bowl before kicking water all over the living room. He wants to go out, but when we get there he doesn’t do anything. Here we go again…hopefully the last time tonight.

Don’t worry, I got this

<3P

World Domination, Step 1 | Increase Awareness

October 25, 2017Leave a comment

While talking with one of my doctors today, I mentioned that I might reduce posts to only once a week because it doesn’t look like my posts are being read by many folks. Then I rattled off the concerns I have: are my posts too long? are they poorly written? am I posting to frequently? After all, I’ve had people complain about my Facebook posts in the past, saying they muted me because I flooded their feed. Is that what’s happening here? Should I focus on one topic a week and do it up right? I mean, if my friends don’t even want to read my blog, why would a complete stranger? How will I ever effect any change if I’m just shouting into the void?

After a beat, he asked me if writing these posts was helping me?

Certainly, getting these thoughts out of my head onto the page has been a huge help.

Does writing as often as you do work for you?

At least for right now it does, there’s a lot of thoughts rolling around in my head.

I certainly don’t intend to discount the need for increased research, but isn’t the biggest issue a lack of awareness? There are people out there that don’t even know ovarian cancer is a thing and early detection is key…

Yes, and I’ve heard of friends who were aware having to beg their doctor to investigate their symptoms because they can so easily be written off as symptoms of aging.

Right. In my opinion, if your posts save just one woman that would be huge.

So, I’m going to keep going. I’m still looking for my voice and trying to figure out what works for me, but if you hang in there with me I promise I’ll get the hang of this eventually. And maybe, just maybe, these posts will help someone else besides just me.

If, like my sister, you think this blog might help someone who loves a survivor understand what they are going through and you know someone who might benefit, would you please consider sharing with them? I’d be ever so grateful!

Don’t worry, I’ve got this!

❤ P

Save the HooHahs!

October 24, 2017October 25, 2017Leave a comment

It began when I was still receiving treatment and my doctor had just switched me to another chemotherapy drug (typically used for breast cancer patients, but also shown to have success with ovarian cancer patients) to hopefully stop the advancement of the peripheral neuropathy I was experiencing on the original (also primarily indicated for breast cancer). I was laying on the couch recovering from the first dose when a commercial came on the television asking if you or a loved one had breast cancer and had received the drug Taxotere… Wait a minute, I thought to myself, I don’t have breast cancer, BUT I am taking Taxotere. What do *I* do if my hair never grows back? Don’t I count?

Then there’s the ever present and ridiculously well funded Race for the Cure and the Avon 39 fundraising walks. I don’t know if it is because October’s Breast Cancer Awareness month falls on the heels of September’s Ovarian Cancer Awareness month so I can see the stark difference between the two or if there is just so much damn pink being thrown at me this month, but I can’t continue to let this go anymore.

First let me say I love The Ellen Show; I watch it routinely and it is programmed into my DVR in case I can’t catch it live. I love Ellen and everything she does to increase kindness in the world. She made me laugh when I thought at times when I thought I might never laugh again. It just happens that while watching today, the show provided references to some of the things I am really beginning to dislike about the month of October.

Today on Ellen, Shutterfly gave $25,000 to a survivor and her family so they could go on a vacation and Michael Strahan danced so Ulta Beauty donated $20,000 to research. It’s been like this all month, every October for the last 4 years. To be fair, I searched for ‘ovarian cancer‘ on her site to make sure I hadn’t missed something similar last month for Ovarian Cancer Awareness Month. Unfortunately there were only results for breast cancer. It isn’t just on Ellen either, yesterday’s audience on Let’s Make a Deal was full of breast cancer survivors and their caregivers. Everyone went home with Dune Jewelry custom Breast Cancer Awareness jewelry. On October 2, The Price is Right had a breast cancer themed episode too. No doubt there are more, but you get the idea.

Ford Motor Company has their Warriors in Pink which has donated $133 million since 1993. Pampered Chef has their Help Whip Cancer products that have contributed $12 million to to aid the American Cancer Society^®’s fight against breast cancer. The Esteé Lauder Companies have Pink Ribbon Products through their Breast Cancer Campaign. The Breast Cancer Campaign has raised more than $70 million to support global research, education and medical services, with more than $56 million funding 225 Breast Cancer Research Foundation® (BCRF) medical research grants worldwide. The list goes on and seems to get longer with every passing year.

How many commercials have you seen about #ovariancancer? How many television shows have you seen raising awareness OR donating thousands of dollars to ovarian cancer research AND thousands in prizes to #ovariancancersurvivors? How many major companies have teal themed products for sale to help fund ovarian cancer research?

My guess is none.

I’m blessed with a 92% chance of living 5+ years after treatment because mine was caught ridiculously early at Stage 1 when my ADHD doctor became concerned about my blood pressure (same stage breast cancer? 98.5%), but ovarian cancer is known as the silent killer and the majority of women aren’t diagnosed until Stage 3. Their chance of survivng 5+ years drops to 39%… Stage 4? 17%(same stage breast cancer? 25%).

This needs to change.

Don’t get me wrong, I love my Pink Sisters and I am grateful for the advancements in treatment that have also been found to be beneficial to ovarian cancer patients, but it’s past time the big movers and shakers with the deep pockets realize that not all women’s cancers are pink. #notallcancerispink

There is not a screening test or vaccine available for ovarian cancer so the best hope we have right now is early detection. The only way to achieve that is to increase awareness and many of my ovarian cancer survivor sisters are too busy fighting to live to push for a change so you’re stuck with me. I’m a loud mouth and can only hope I am up for the task. I’d better be because I really can’t handle constantly hearing “oh yeah, my mom died of ovarian cancer” whenever someone hears my diagnosis.

Don’t worry, I’ve got this

❤ P

Breast Cancer Commercial 2017 Search Results

On Progress

October 23, 2017Leave a comment

I’m making progress and while some days are better than others it’s still progress. Over time, I’ve learned that even at a slow pace it still counts.

Next week I’m taking next step towards achieving a professional goal I’ve been working on since I completed treatment in January. Much of my attention is focused on preparing for this trip, but as I do I can’t help but think about how far I have come in the last 9 months. It often seemed to be going so slow that I felt I was getting nowhere, but now I can see that was not the case. I’m still mulling over how to put all of my feelings on the matter in to words. So much is going on right now though that I think I’m going to need some more time.

I can’t say too much about my trip other than to say I’ll be venturing back in to familiar territory that post-treatment feels outside of my current comfort zone. For someone who used to travel all the time, after having been in the protective bubble of treatment and recovery, it now feels like a ‘new’ experience that is unfamiliar and weird. As I continue to move forward, it is coming back to me and I’m excited to get under way.

no worries, I got this

❤ P

On Resilience

October 20, 2017Leave a comment

Pretty much common sense really, yet I know I am not alone in needing the reminder that in order to not only survive but thrive one needs to regularly rest and recharge. I have a tendency to push myself too far. While I have made serious improvement since a car accident in 2011 forced me to slow down or else I fell down, on occasion I can still overdo it. I got fairly close to that line yesterday as pointed out to me by my friend, Lindsey, when I posted a picture of her rock star daughter Avalon with caption saying “Foster visited Foster”. Those are the kind of goofs I make when brain power is starting to bottom out, so I shouldn’t have been surprised this morning when I rolled over and realized it was 1:30 PM. Thankfully the four-legged crew was kind enough to let me sleep. Fergus even took some convincing to wake up himself. It isn’t like I slept a ridiculously long time though. I’ve been dealing with some insomnia issues lately which combined with the long day yesterday resulted in some difficulty waking up.

On the Bright Side | it was that insomnia that led to me finding the most inexplicable Facebook live video of a woman in Alabama hosting a “pearl party” and salty as hell at her videos jump in viewership from 100 to 1000s; many of whom, like me, were left clueless as to what exactly it was they were watching.

I felt some guilt for sleeping so late, but after checking out my sleep history on Fitbit I realized I needed that sleep pretty badly. It’s been a pretty quiet day here full of knitting, dog walking, and some work related tasks. A nice lead in to the weekend.

Today’s Highlight | Our neighborhood rock star, Avalon, came home from the hospital this evening! I am seriously impressed by the progress she has made since her surgery on Monday. I know her cats, Andy and Jacks, are happy to have her home and the neighborhood kids have probably already started ringing the doorbell. She still has quite the road ahead of her, but I’m looking forward to some crafting time with her while she recuperates.

It’s no big secret that I enjoy knitting, buy what kinds of crafting do you enjoy when you are couch bound recovering?

no worries, I got this

❤ P

#TeamPamda

#FightLikeAGirl #IGotThis #WithALottaHelpFromMyFriends #TealRibbon

Tag: Survival