I’ve been fine with losing my hair from the beginning, in fact I considered it a silver lining since it would give me a great excuse to do some fun things with my hair since forever. Scott, my hottie hair stylist, and I have had several conversations about what we would be able to do both as it was leaving, while it was gone, and when it was growing back. However, along the way I realized one important thing. I wanted to be in control of it going, not the chemo..controlling the burn as I termed it. It was all fun and games until this last trim when the last of my hair came off.
At my first chemo treatment, where it was evident I was a noob because I had hair, I realized there were actually two important things. The second being that I was okay not having hair as long as it was just me on my own and not identified as a group of sick women. Turns out that the perception of others is something I cannot control. I have known that for years, but I had not made the connection until recently.
My friend, Maria, is a treatment ahead of me and has been preparing me for what to expect based upon her own experiences. She told me that once my hair was gone, I would be hugged and prayed over by strangers, but she did not make as much note about the look.
You know the look, the “oh, you poor thing, how terrible” look. Pity.
I do not need it, I do not want it, and I do not deserve it. My cancer was caught miraculously early, I have been blessed with an amazing doctor, and we are treating whatever cells remaining aggressively. My odds are better than most women who have been diagnosed with ovarian cancer and I know it. Instead, SMILE. Trust me on this one. Look them square in the eyes and SMILE. You might be surprised by the effect it has on the exhausted looking, no hair day having beauty before you.