Asking For Help is Never Easy

Ovarian cancer ranks fifth in cancer deaths among women, accounting for more deaths than any other cancer of the female reproductive system. A woman’s risk of getting ovarian cancer during her lifetime is about 1 in 75. Her lifetime chance of dying from ovarian cancer is about 1 in 100. Of that 1 in 75, and if you are reading this, we personally know one.

Pam was diagnosed with Ovarian Cancer on August 25, 2016, had surgery to remove the mass on September 6, 2016 and began her anti-neoplastic chemotherapy treatment on October 3, 2016. She still has a road ahead of her and has treatments scheduled through January 2017.

You often hear the phrase “money talks” — but it is so hard to actually talk about money. It is even harder to ask for it. This is one reason I chose to pen this letter on Pam’s behalf; because I know her well enough to know she won’t ask.

Pam lost her job in September 2014 and since that time has robbed Peter to pay Paul on her own, and with the help of very close family members. She has never asked for a hand out, or even a hand up. She has done anything she can to make money here and there until she is able to find a role in her profession. These jobs have not paid much, but they have kept the lights on.

As you can imagine, her medical bills are very quickly piling up and are surmounting to a level of unmanageable on top of meeting her “normal needs”. She has tapped into family as much as they have been able to help financially; and that help is leaning out too. This is where you come in. Pam is not planning some grandiose vacation to the Caribbean, or buying a new home or car; but she is at risk of losing the home and car she does have. We are entering winter and the heat and lights need to stay on.

Some of the side effects of cancer and chemo treatment are:

  • Hair loss, which causes loss of body temperature.
  • Fatigue, which causes one to feel extremely tired, weak, heavy, run down, and having no energy. Resting does not always help with cancer-related fatigue.
  • Appetite loss, which causes someone to eat less than usual, not feel hungry at all, or feel full after eating a small amount. This causes someone to lose weight and not get the nutrition they need. They may also lose muscle mass and strength. All these things lower their ability to recover from chemotherapy.

All of these above symptoms limit one’s ability to aggressively seek employment and/or work the job they already have – further causing financial stress and strain.

This is where you come in! Pam needs our help. She will not ask for it – so I am! Many of you have sent thoughtful gifts to keep her head warm, her hands warm and her belly fed when she can eat and she is eternally grateful. But she needs more. Her car note needs to get paid, her mortgage is still due, she has power, water, sewer, trash and phone – the most basic needs – that need to be paid. ANY amount that you can send is the “right amount” and is gratefully accepted. You can help in a few ways:

  • PayPal: send a donation to Pam directly through “Friends and Family” for no fee at – Pamela.Dulaney@icloud.com
  • Her bank directly by mailing a check made payable to her at: Wells Fargo 10050 Green Level Church Road Cary, NC 27519 (this is somewhat anonymous as she may not know who sent it).
  • In the form of gift cards. Some of the places she patronizes are:  Harris Teeter (groceries), Target (basic household & hygiene items), PetCo (her little companion has needs too), Starbucks (sometimes all she can handle is a liquid meal and a hot latte is soothing on her tummy), Chick-Fil-A (for the days she actually can eat and can run through the drive-thru after a treatment), and Panera (again, coffee and some needed carbohydrates or hot bowl of chicken soup) and her home address is: 1022 Summerhouse Road Cary, NC 27519 and as you know, cards of encouragement are always nice to receive!

THANK YOU ALL from the bottom of my heart, Pam’s heart and her Mama’s heart who can’t be here all the time and is home in Alaska nursing her own recent surgery.

Truly,

Jenipher (just a friend who is trying to help, just like you)

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